If you are a friend, family member, or colleague who is worried about the safety of someone you know who may be experiencing domestic or intimate partner violence, here are some things you can keep in mind.
Remember, abuse is complex and difficult to navigate. Don’t expect or pressure your friend or loved one to make quick decisions about their relationship. Encourage them to put their safety first.
Above all, show up with care, respect, and patience. Your support can make a real difference.
You may feel the urge to step in and “fix” things, but what helps most is showing care in ways that respect your loved one’s choices. You don’t need to have all the answers. What matters is that they know they can trust you. It’s okay to feel unsure or nervous, but just showing up with care is helpful.
Abuse is about power and control. Too often, our society blames survivors instead of holding abusers responsible. Let them know you believe them and that you’ll be there when they’re ready to talk. Even if they don’t open up right away, your presence matters.
Abuse can take many forms including verbal, emotional, financial, physical, or sexual. It isn’t always easy to spot, and often grows over time. While every relationship is different, abusive partners usually use different tactics to maintain control and power.
For many women especially, family, cultural, and economic pressures mean there may be few real options except to stay. Without safe housing, childcare, dignified work, education, or support for health and wellbeing, leaving isn’t a simple “choice.”
Respect their pace. Don’t try to “save” them or tell them what to do. Understand that leaving might not be possible or safe right now. Ending an abusive relationship is one of the hardest and riskiest decisions anyone can face. Survivors may feel fear, confusion, regret, shame, or even betrayal while trying to figure out what’s possible and safe for them.
Encourage professional support. Continue to encourage them to talk with services who can support them with guidance, counselling or access to low and no cost services