What is gaslighting?

When someone calls their anger “love,” or their control “care,” it’s not affection – it’s abuse. Gaslighting is one way emotional abuse shows up, it slowly makes you doubt yourself, your experiences and memories, and your right to feel hurt. Over time, it can make it hard to trust your instincts. Real care or love shouldn’t confuse or scare you. 

What is gaslighting?

There are many ways to tell if your relationship is healthy. And there are also common warning signs that can help you notice if something feels off or unsafe.

Consent means an on-going, mutual agreement between partners about what you both feel comfortable with and want to experience together. It’s not just about saying yes once — it’s an ongoing conversation and respect for boundaries.

If something feels off or unsafe, check in with your partner, set clear boundaries, and get help if needed. Healthy relationships are built on communication and respect.

What are the forms of gaslighting?

For example, your partner may pretend not to understand or remember, refuse to listen, question or minimize your memory of an event, or make your feelings or needs seem unimportant.

Consent means an on-going, mutual agreement between partners about what you Your partner may say things like: That never happened, are you sure? You often get confused. You’re too sensitive, you’re getting angry about such a small thing? You’re insane, that didn’t happen. I don’t know what you’re talking about! It’s all your imagination, stop making up things.

Identifying gaslighting behaviours

Generally, gaslighting happens over time in a relationship and may start out feeling quite harmless. But when these patterns continue they can leave you feeling confused, isolated or depressed. You may be experiencing gaslighting if you find yourself thinking:

Am I too sensitive? Am I a good enough partner? Maybe I’m wrong and my partner is right? It feels like I can’t do anything right. Why do I feel so unhappy even though things in the relationship seem okay? Something feels very wrong in my relationship but I don’t know how to explain it. I used to be a very different person before, more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.

Remember, it’s not your fault. Gaslighting can make it hard to trust your own thoughts or feelings — but you’re not imagining it. Recognizing the signs is the first step toward reclaiming your voice and rebuilding your confidence.

Learn More

Is my relationship healthy?
Staying safe with an abusive partner
'Sahaj' checklist
Different kinds of abuse