Decision-making helper

Making decisions in an abusive relationship is rarely simple. What matters most is finding what feels safe and possible for you right now, whether that means planning for safety, preparing to leave, or taking small steps forward.

Making a decision can be a process, rather than a quick decision

Making choices in an abusive relationship is not just a quick decision, it’s often an ongoing process.

For some, it may mean planning for safety while still living with their partner. For others, it could mean preparing to leave, or taking small steps toward leaving when it feels possible. Each path carries risks, and for many people the time around leaving can be the most unsafe. It’s okay to feel unsure, afraid, or conflicted. What matters most is what feels safe and possible for you right now. Finding the right support and a safe way forward can take time.

You may be weighing many factors as you decide

Thinking about what to do in a difficult or abusive relationship is never simple. Many things may weigh on your mind at once including:

your feelings for your partner your safety your health and wellbeing, your children and family’s needs, and your need for income and a safe home All of these are important, and it’s natural to feel pulled in different directions. Remember: You are not to blame for the abuse. You deserve safety, care, and respect. And you don’t have to go through this alone. Support is always available.

Learn More

How can I feel prepared to tell someone my partner is abusive?
Staying safe with an abusive partner
Staying safe if you're planning to leave an abusive partner