A good safety plan is dynamic and recognizes that risks can change. It considers not only physical safety but also emotional safety and wellbeing too. It involves navigating difficult or confusing emotions, building a safety network of people and resources, and maybe police or legal action too. You can use this tool on your own, or with someone you trust.
“Why don’t you just leave?” This is a question you might ask yourself. Others may have asked you too. But if you’re in an abusive relationship, you know it’s not that simple. Leaving a partner, especially one who has been abusive is one of the hardest decisions someone can make. It’s even more challenging when you’ve been isolated from family and friends, emotionally worn down, financially controlled, or threatened with violence.
If you’re trying to decide whether to stay or leave, you’re not alone. It’s completely normal to feel confused, afraid, or uncertain. You might still hope things will change, or worry about how your partner will react if they find out you’re thinking about leaving. Some days, you may feel desperate to get away. Other days, you may feel unsure, or even want to stay. All of these feelings are valid. But remember: you are not the cause of the abuse. And you are not weak for staying. It’s common to feel responsible for your partner’s behavior or to want to help them. Feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame are part of the harm that abuse causes. If someone is hurting you, it is not your fault.
What matters most is your safety and what feels possible for you right now.
Support is available whenever you’re ready. This might include speaking to a crisis helpline, connecting with a counselor, accessing a safe shelter, or exploring legal options.
You don’t have to go through this alone.
