Why don’t you just leave?

All our lives we are told that “what happens at home should stay at home.” Abuse is often hidden behind closed doors, but that doesn’t make it any less real. 

Many people believe, “This could never happen to me” or “I would never let it happen.” The truth is, abuse can happen to anyone.

What matters most is where we place the blame.

Too often, people blame the woman or person living through the abuse, instead of holding the person who is hurting them responsible.

The focus should never be on questioning the survivor, it should be on stopping the violence and ensuring safety.

If your partner is abusive towards you

Trust your own feelings and put your safety first. Speaking up directly to someone who is abusive is not always safe.

Thinking about leaving can feel overwhelming, and it is one of the hardest choices anyone can face. For many women, the time they try to leave or file a complaint can actually be the most dangerous moment. Finding the right support and a safe way forward can take time. Leaving is not just a single decision, it is a process.

If you are worried about a friend or loved one

Please don’t look away. Your support can matter. People around them have real power.

Offer care, listen without judgment, and help them connect to safe services like housing, legal aid, financial help, or counselling.

Remember, leaving is a process, not just a decision

Leaving is not the end of the journey, and living through abuse is never the survivor’s fault

Real change comes when we stop blaming those who are hurt, and hold those who harm accountable. Surviving is not just a survivor’s responsibility.

Learn More

How can I feel prepared to tell someone my partner is abusive?
Staying safe with an abusive partner
Staying safe if you're planning to leave an abusive partner