Leaving an abusive relationship is rarely simple. For many people, it may not feel safe or possible right now. What matters most is focusing on the steps that feel right for you at this moment, whether that’s planning for safety, preparing to leave, or taking small steps forward. Finding the right support and a safe way ahead can take time, and that’s okay.
If you know someone in an abusive relationship, try not to ask, “Why don’t you just leave?”
If you are or previously were in an abusive relationship, you might find yourself asking, “Why don’t/didn’t I just leave?”
Making decisions in an abusive relationship is rarely simple. What matters most is finding what feels safe and possible for you right now, whether that means planning for safety, preparing to leave, or taking small steps forward.
Leaving an abusive partner is one of the hardest decisions anyone can make. It involves weighing many factors including your feelings for your partner, your safety, your health and wellbeing, children and family’s needs, and need for income and a home or shelter. All of these are important, and it’s natural to feel pulled in different directions.
Please don’t look away. Your support can matter. People around them have real power. Offer care, listen without judgment, and help them connect to safe services like housing, legal aid, financial help, or counselling.
You know your situation best, always consider your safety first. There are things to consider if you choose to confront your partner, talk to a friend or family member, or take formal action like filing a police complaint or legal case. For many women in particular, the time they try to leave or file a complaint can actually be the most dangerous moment. Finding the right support and a safe way forward can take time and planning, and that’s okay too.